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[January 28th, 2006] |
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mood |
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melancholy |
] |
I had sex yesterday for the first time in over a week-- a new record for me, really, considering. It was quick, rough, and kind of messy. The way I usually get it done. But, it felt almost like... Like a job. Like back when I wasn't a Turk, and I was somethin' else.
Don't get me wrong. I like Sloth. I like him a lot, and I trust him. Which is a goddamn lot, seein' as I can't say that for everyone I like these days. But, it was like I was repaying a debt. When Roy the Colo Must Roy first, y'know, approached me, I told him 'no.' Tryin' to change my ways, and stuff. Then the guys goes and dies protectin' my kid.
Should I feel bad for feeling relieved that he wanted to have sex with me? So that I could make my own conscience feel better?
I'm so fucked up sometimes. Right now, really.
...But, God, he told me he loves me.
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[January 26th, 2006] |
| [ |
mood |
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blah |
] |
...I think I like him. As more than a friend.
Is that wrong? Do I care?
...Maybe I just miss Rufus.
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