Sat, 28 Jan 2006 15:23:38 GMT

I had sex yesterday for the first time in over a week-- a new record for me, really, considering. It was quick, rough, and kind of messy. The way I usually get it done. But, it felt almost like... Like a job. ~~Like back when I wasn't a Turk, and I was somethin' else.~~

Don't get me wrong. I like Sloth. I like him a lot, and I trust him. ~~Which is a goddamn lot, seein' as I can't say that for everyone I like these days.~~ But, it was like I was repaying a debt. When ~~Roy~~ ~~the Colo~~ ~~Must~~ Roy first, y'know, approached me, I told him 'no.' Tryin' to change my ways, and stuff. Then the guys goes and dies protectin' my kid.

Should I feel bad for feeling relieved that he wanted to have sex with me? So that I could make my own conscience feel better?

I'm so fucked up sometimes. Right now, really.

...But, God, he told me he loves me.

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 05:41:09 GMT

...I think I like him. As more than a friend.

Is that wrong? Do I care?

...Maybe I just miss Rufus.

W A R N I N G -- I'm Sexy in a Suit